Friday, October 30, 2009

I'm Still Live 'n Kickin'

Been traveling for meetings - 2 out of state trips - and when I'm not traveling I've been extremely busy with H1N1.  It appears to have slowed down a bit towards the end of the the week. 

So with the above and brief viral illness, my progress for Hot 100 Goals have gone stone cold.

Hopefully things will calm down next week and I'll be done traveling for a while.  

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Checking In

Just had a cold earlier this week but knocked me off my workout schedule.  Feeling fine after a couple of days but extremely busy.  Going out of town for a few days for a meeting.   Hopefully will get caught up on reading all your blogs.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Gimme an "H" Gimme an "N"

What's that spell?  H1N1.    AGH!  Swamped, busy and overwhelmed.  Left work myself at noon yesterday with HA, body aches etc.  But better today.  No fever No cough.  But didn't work out yesterday or today.

Illness is the one reason (not excuse) to not exercise.

More later.  Hangin in there.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Thanks and Hot 100 Update

Thanks Helen and Sandra for the award.  I get sooo much inspiration and motivation from so many of you that I'm honored to think I might be able to do the same for others in the weight loss blogging community.

Hot 100 UpDate (Getting Warmer)

Not meeting most of  my goals, but did much better towards end of the week when I decided to "get real"  Committed to nailin' all of them next week.

Walk, exercise, work out at least 5 X a week 30-60 minutesTotal of at least 300 minutes per week YES! - Total 425 hours of "functional fitness" and walking. And five times for first time.
Eat at least 5 servings of fruits/veggies every day -
Made it 2 out of 7 days - again. This one is key. Need to step it up.
Track calories with my electronic calorie counter.
Didn't use the hand held, but downloaded free trial of Calorie King and been
using since Thursday. MUCH easier.
Limit Diet Coke to weekends only and no more than 2 per day
Nope :-(   I'm going to add to this "drink 6-8 eight oz glasses of water daily.  Instead of just eliminating "the bad", I'll add "the good"
Pump plastic ( I need some new dumb bells!) 2 X per week
Yep.  Still lifting logs not plastic 
Complete one decluttering by the 19th of each month
Spending weekends working outside getting ready for winter - I have cleaned out and reorganized my storage shed and "decluttered" 6 dead trees.and a dead pickup! But these were not on my original list AND I have some major areas inside that need attention - soooo I'm not counting this as a "yes" unless I get one done by the end of the month.
Rest of goals are longer term

Friday, October 16, 2009

Struggling Part 3

Thanks to all who gave me ideas on the Calorie counter.  Second day of Calorie King free trial and its working fine.  I did try SparkPeople a year or so ago - but the web site had all this other "stuff" that kept distracting me. LOL  I still get lots of emails from them - which I just delete.  I'll go back and check it out again - and the other ones suggested.  My mind set is definitely different now.
Part 3:

There is an employee I supervise who is very frustrating.  One of those who always does just enough to get by.  Spends more energy avoiding work than doing it. Always playing games.  Pushing the boundaries of our policies and rules right up to the edge.  Usually with minor things but it still is time-consuming and affects other staff.     Actually once told me they knew they were breaking the dress code rules, but "just wanted to see how long I could get away with it"  (Is being disciplined but not enough to fire. Yet.)

The point of all of the above is last week during my bingeing and soul-searching I had a real lightbulb moment.  DUH!   All of the above is true of me and my weight loss efforts.  

1. Does just enough to get by
2. Spends more time and energy {persuing junk food}than just fixing the healthy stuff (late night trips 20 minutes into town for the "binge du jour)
3.Always playing Games - with the scale; (well I binged several times last week but still showing a 1/2 lb loss so I'm doing OK)
4. Always playing Games - (I'll start Monday; I'll start first of the month; I'll start after the holidays; I'll start when I get back from vacation, I'll start........tomorrow which is a day that never comes)
5. Pushing the rules right up to the edge (Calories OUT > Calories IN - we're not talking rocket science here.)
6.Know I'm breaking the rules, but how long can I get away with it  (well Diabetes and high Trigs are telling me my time is up)

Time to stop playing games, stop doing this half-assed and get real

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Struggling Part 2

Actually today was a good day, but I did promise to post on my pattern of extensive exercise and wt loss - "part 2" is at the end of this post

Today had commitments after work so didn't get in any workout, but food much much better.  Thanks for all your great comments and support.  Looking forward to Diane's post on issues raised yesterday.  Thanks to Tomer for the suggestion for WeightLossSoftware.com

Last spring I participated in a study that required tracking all food for 4 weeks. They provided a palm pilot with CalorieKing software.  It was great.  That small, inexpensive palm isn't available anymore so I finally purchased an electronic handheld calorie calculator that I can use "on the go"   Don't like it - much more difficult to use.   Tonight I started a free 7 day trial of the CalorieKing software.  The WeightLossSoftware looks very good as well.  Both are reasonable - $40-$45.  Do any of you use or recommend an on-line calorie tracker or any other software?  Looking for some input.....but tonight tried the Calorie King and it was the easiest one I've ever used.  I'm going to take another look at WeightLossSoftware before I purchase anything.  I know there are free ones out there - but when I've used in past they were much more difficult and much smaller data base.  (All 3 mentioned above have a data base of over 50,000 foods)

Ok Part 2

I have had 2 periods of significant wt loss. The first time was in the early 90's  I started walking to save my sanity when my marriage fell apart.  Walking led to running, running led to completing a marathon.  Of course I lost wt.  Forty pounds.  And it was  the last time I got to Onederland.  Unfortunately I was a visitor not a permenant resident.  Quit running and gradually gained back the weight.  Plus.  My all time high was about 255-260 in 2002. when blood sugar problems motivated me to start exercising again.  I discovered cycling and in 2003 biked over 2500 miles in 9 months, including finishing a week-long 500 mile bike tour, a triathlon and century (100 miles).  I would bike 20 miles into town, swim for an hour and then bike home.  My weight got down to about 205.  That winter got into spin classes and pumping iron,  However, over the next few years the cycling has gradually decreased and the wt gradually increased.  This time I topped out at about 230.  Last summer and fall I lost about 20 lbs by walking an hour almost every day.  Until March when the "wheels came off"  Recently I've started down the same path - putting in 4-8 hours of very strenuous yard work  during weekends is the only thing giving me a small wt loss most weeks - and last week even 800 hours of activity couldn't prevent a 1 pound gain.

Any one seeing a pattern here?  A marathon in '94, a century in '03.  All I have to do is swim "2. something"
 miles and I've completed an Iron Man - on the 15 year installment plan!   But seriously, I am an "all or nothing" person.  No balance whatsoever.   Exercise is a vital part of weight loss, but I think the main reason I gained the wt back was that I never got control of the food.  I never dealt with my issues around food.  So as soon as I decreased  the activity the weight came back.

If I really want to lose this weight once and for all and then maintain the loss, I need to committ to making wise food choices and regular exercise.  Forever.  I need to get real and stop playing games.  And that brings us to Struggling, Part 3.  Tomorrow.  :-)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Busy, Struggling, and Hot 100 Goals

Busy both at work and home so not posting or commenting as much as I'd like. 

Really struggled last week with the food.  Why is this so hard.  I really admire those that make a commitment, focus on their goal and stay on track 'til they reach their target.  People like Sean, JackSh*t, Diane, Tony theAnti-Jared and Jen.I don't know what its going to take for me to reach that level of committment. Diabetes doesn't do it.  High cholesterol doesn't do it. All the other risks I KNOW I'm running doesn't do it.

 Right after my doc's appt last week (with the "naked truth") and  I picked up a new med due to my cholesterol results I headed right for the convenience store for my old "usual" binge foods.  Haven't done that for months - long before I started this blog back in Aug.  I started thinking (planning?) on this when I left work so it wasn't the visit that triggered it.  Not a bad day at work either.

And made very poor food choices last week before and after that day as well.   The only thing that is giving me small wt losses - and preventing a huge gain this week  -is the hours I'm spending doing yard work. Imagine how much more progress I would have made if I was more committed and controlling my food choices and portions.  Extensive exercise providing wt loss is a typical pattern for me.  Getting late/long story so stay tuned 'til tomorrow.

Here are my pathetic results for the Hot   LukeWarm 100 Challenge

Hot 100 Goals:
Walk, exercise, work out at least 5 X a week 30-60 minutes. Total of at least 300 minutes per week - Total 800 hours of "functional fitness" but worked out only 4 X. Improved from 3X last week

Eat at least 5 servings of fruits/veggies every day
Made it 2 out of 7 days  But did get to the groc and loaded frig up with Fruits and Veggies
Track calories with my electronic calorie counter.
Nope :-(
Limit Diet Coke to weekends only and no more than 2 per day
Nope :-(

Pump plastic ( I need some new dumb bells!) 2 X per week
Lifted logs not plastic X 3 this week

Rest of goals are longer term

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Naked Truth

In August I posted about seeing myself on the JumboTron at a ball park  Jumbo was right.  Especially since I was sitting.  I took a picture when I got home and included it in the post.

Well, I've had another eye-opener - earlier this week I saw my own doc.  While sitting on the exam table trying to hold the gown together I noted a huge mirror on the wall above the sink......There was this very fat middle aged women I didn't recognize in the room with me!   If that wasn't bad enough, I actually got brave enough to open the gown up so saw this vision of obesity in full side-al nudity.  Au Naturale. Buck nekked. Birthday suit.  While this was even more of an eye-opener than last August, I'm NOT posting a photo this time!

The point is - I can fool myself or deny how obese I am but seeing 65 pounds of  excess wobbly parts was just the dose of reality I needed.  (Just what the doctor ordered?)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Beautiful Day

Had the afternoon off and it was an unexpectedly beautiful day - warm and sunny.  Worked in the yard for about 5 hours until I lost the light.  Including loading my pickup with logs a neighbor wanted to get rid of. He even had it cut and stacked :-)
  And if I didn't have enough to do already - came home from work a couple of days ago and the electric company had been here - and left a pile of dirt in my yard 4 feet high and 6 feet long.  Ugh!  Neighbor can over with his small tractor and moved it to a low spot in my yard, but it still needed to be raked smooth.  Still not feeling the need to join a gym!

Checkout the give away and opportunity to contribute to an e-cookbook at Prior Fat Girl

Check out These Over the Top Blogs

Thanks to Amazon Runner for thinking of me and awareding the "Over the Top" award.  In accepting I need to
1. Answer 35 questions and 2. Pass it on to 6 other blogs. Keeping my answers to only one word will be tough, but not as tough as only choosing only 6 blogs.  So I'm taking the liberty of 'doubling down" and picking 12!  And I'm still worried that I've missed someone....

 I tried to pick those I follow regularly that I find consistantly inspiring, motivating and challenging - and that don't already have it. If you are listed here, please snag the award with a right-click, place it on your blog and do what you gotta do.  Or not.  :-)
1.Diane at Fit to the Finish
2.Fearless Missy
3.A Cake for a Wife
4. Diana's Weight Loss Journey
5.Jack Sh*t Gettin' Fit
6.South Beach Steve
7.Irene at Livin' Large
8. Kat at Secrets to Losing 100 lbs
9. Coley at Sugar Shakes
10. Pippa's Porch
11.Losin' this Dang Fat
12 Fat Daddy Rants

If she didn't already have it, I would pass this right back to Amazon Runner as she is truly an inspiration. And also to TJ's Weigh or the Highway; If you haven't already, be sure to check out these two blogs written by women who constantly inspire and motivate. They both are true independant women who are gettin' done their way, errr weigh.

Answers to questions:
1. Where is your cell phone? charger ( and its late enough I should be in bed getting recharged too)
2. Your hair? wavey
3. Your mother? More active than I am
4. Your father? generous
5. Your favorite food? Have to pick one???/
6. Your dream last night? Found more rooms in my house - including a hot tub :-)
7. Your favorite drink? Diet Coke (yep admitting it but tryin' to quit)
8. Your dream/goal? Life in balance
9. What room are you in? family room
10. Your hobby?  gardening
11. Your fear? Becoming dependant on my kids in my old age
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? retired
13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? skinny
15. Muffins? Cornbread

16. Wish list item? Steel toed boots
17. Where did you grow up? midwest
18. Last thing you did? thru some more logs on the fire
19. What are you wearing? sweatshirt and jeans
20. Your TV? 50" plasma
21. Your pets? dog

22. Friends? Keep moving out of state :-(
23. Your life? Hectic
24. Your mood? grateful

25. Missing someone? grandkids and friends
26. Vehicle? Pickup, Miata Convertible, Honda CR-V
27. Something you’re not wearing? socks

28. Your favorite store? local Health food store
29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed?  5 minutes ago
31. Last time you cried?  several weeks ago
32. Your best friend?  Moved out of state
33. One place that I go to over and over? North Carolina

34. One person who emails me regularly? 
35. Favorite place to eat?  New deli at health food store

Monday, October 5, 2009

Monday Update

Just realized I didn't post at all over the weekend - busy and active!

On Friday's post I mentioned feeling like I wanted to hybernate and S.A.D.  I actually love the fall and working out in cold weather is much easier for me than in the heat.  I am very sensitive to lack of light, but don't think I have full blown S.A.D.  I've had a light box for years but don't use it much.  And I've been taking Vit D for months.

I think the problem last week was we had beautiful sunny warm weather up 'til Wed, then somebody "flipped the switch" and Thurs/Fri was cold, cloudy, rainy.  It was the abrupt change that I didn't anticpate that knocked me abit off track for a couple of days until I gave myself (and ya'll with your comments) a swift kick in the keester..

I find the best way to combat low energy (at any time of the year) is to:
#1.GET MOVING.  Especially outside in the sun.  (DUH)
#2.STAY AWAY from the refined carbs/salty/greasy foods and
#3 DON'T OVEREAT  (Double DUH)

All three great ideas but something I struggle with year 'round or I wouldn't be 70 lbs overweight. Which leads me to the great Hot 100 Challenge from South Beach Steve to keep us all motivated thru the end of the year.  Was meeting my goals until things went off track for a couple of days.

Hot 100 Goals:
  • Walk, exercise, work out at least 5 X a week 30-60 minutes. Total of at least 300 minutes per week - 320 hours but worked out only 3 X.  Need more consistency during the week.
  • Eat at least 5 servings of fruits/veggies every day
    Made it 4 out of 7 days
  • Track calories with my electronic calorie counter.
    Well put it in my purse and re-read the instructions

    Limit Diet Coke to weekends only and no more than 2 per day
  • Did well until my "weekend" started in on Thursday.....grrrrr
  • Pump plastic ( I need some new dumb bells!) 2 X per week
  • Lifted logs not plastic X 2 this week
  • Rest of goals are longer term
Need to refocus this week.  Did make sure I got in a short workout after work and before the family arrived to watch Monday Night Football.  Lots of Viking fans in this family!


    Friday, October 2, 2009

    Feel the Need to Hybernate

    Weather has suddenly turned cold and wet and dark the last few days. Rain for last 2 days. Ugh!  I've heard the phrase "some people carry their weather inside them"  I am definitely not one of them!  I get S.A.D. (Seasonal Affect Disorder) and really struggle when the daylight hours get shorter.  And when its cold and damp I just want to crawl into a cave and hypernate -curl up on the couch with a good book. 
    Along with moving less, I find I want to eat more - usually alot more. For the last few days I've been craving soup - which is much better than what I usually crave.

    And all that wood I was playin' with last weekend?  Tonight is the third time I've fired up the wood stove this week  Nothing like a cheery fire in the to chase away the chill. And the blues.

    But I haven't worked out since Tuesday.  Just feel like someone "pulled the plug" and drained all my energy.  I'm hoping I'll adjust to the cold over the next few days  - probably the best way is to get my butt off the couch.  Time to split wood not sit here and burn it!

    Need to Start Gettin' My ZZZZZZZZ's

    A couple of very very long days.  And I'm struggling to keep up with work, working out, posting, reading posts and commenting. 

    Getting enough sleep is an important part of good self care and can even affect insulin resistance and weight loss.  I'm such a night person I really struggle with getting to bed at a decent hour, and its been worse since I started the blog and got involved with the wonderful weight loss blogging community.  

    I'm going to do my best to post daily, read several blogs daily and comment when I can.  If you don't see comments from me as often as before, know I'm thinking about each and everyone of you.  Maybe when H1N1 [disease formerly known as swine flu :-)] slows down I'll have more time.  I can always hope

    Wednesday, September 30, 2009

    Pine Ups Anyone?

    Amazon Runner's comment on my last blog about working out by lifting and splitting logs was too good not to repeat:  "You may have invented a new fitness craze that will sweep the nation-- just think....... Birch presses, ashrobics, pine-ups........." Very Very clever!  Thought  for a minute she might have been channeling Jack Sh*t  

    (Actually I'm dealing with elm, oak, locust, mulberry and walnut, but too tired to come up with new wood-work out names. Any more ideas AR? Anyone else?)

    Every fall I usually spend 3-4 hours each weekend filling my logracks to get ready for winter. Yep, moving, splitting and stacking wood is a great workout.  And the reason we say when you burn wood for warmth it "heats you twice".
    Monday was my weigh-in day.  I weighed in, changed my weight loss ticker and  "countdown"   I'm not going to mention it in a post; I've decided that unless I hit a milestone I won't mention weekly losses (or gains)  I'll continue to change my "ticker" and change my "countdown" -- just not comment. Over the last few weeks I've learned that my weight from one week to another doesn't tell the whole story.  Whats much much more important is the process.  And dealing with my inner gremlins, self-sabotage and my issues surrounding food.

    Monday, September 28, 2009

    Please Pass the Advil.....and Meant to Be

    Great but busy weekend.  Increased my workout goals for the Hot 100 Challenge to 300 per week but I blew that away this weekend.  Seven hours (420 minutes) of lifting and carrying logs and branches.  Had 6 dead trees cut down during the week.  Tree guy doesn't charge much but doesn't do the clean up.  Fine with me 'cuz its a great workout and I have a woodstove. And a fireplace. And a bonfire pit.  Will have plenty of wood for the winter.....but still have most to cut up and it will all will need to be split.   I usually hand split wood, but the dead trees are elms.  They're a b*tch to split by hand - cross-grained according to my bros.

    So guess I'm pumpin' wood instead of plastic.  But, I'm thinking that thsoe 300 hours of exercise shouldn't be in 2 days !!!  I'm definitely needin' some advil!

    Meant to be???  So on Wedneday I run out of gas on my way to work. And this "angel" stops and gives me a lift.  Turns out she lives just a few miles from me.  Turns out she's roughly my age and lives alone. Turns out she loves to bike but has problems finding someone to bike with.  Turns out she has a fireplace, but has no wood, but does have access to a hydraulic wood splitter.  YIPPPEE!!!!!!

    Meant to be???  H*ll yes!!!   Think I'm going to run out of gas every week!   But will carry my own gas can.  Price for a one gallon gas can at the gas station: $10.99 plus tax.  Ouch!

    PS: I have plenty of walnut, oak and locust I'll still handsplit this winter.  Who needs a gym?

    Friday, September 25, 2009

    Hot 100 Challenge

    Check out South Beach Steve's Hot 100 Challenge.  He's extended the deadline to enter - before midnight Central Time Monday 9-28. Just need to create some goals; Post those goals.  Give an update at least every 10 days thru the end of the year.  Prize is random drawing for a jar of  smokin' hot pickled jalapenos!  Check out the cool logo - that alone is worse entering!

    My Hot 100 Goals
    1. Walk, exercise, work out at least 5 X a week 30-60 minutes. Total of at least 250 minutes per week
    2. Eat at least 5 servings of fruits/veggies every day
    3. Track calories with my electronic calorie counter.
    4. Limit Diet Coke to weekends only and no more than 2 per day
    5. Pump plastic ( I need some new dumb bells!) 2 X per week
    6. Complete one decluttering by the 19th of each month
    7.  Lose 17.75 lbs by December 1st (will put me under 200lbs) Have had this goal on my blog for a couple of weeks now.
    8. Maintain weight thru December (weigh no more on Jan 1 than I did on Dec 1

    Thursday, September 24, 2009

    One Month Down, 17 To Go

    Last night I realized that on Sunday I'd been blogging for one month.  WOW it really seems longer than that!  I just feel like I know so many of you so well it can't be only 4 weeks.  I think all of us who are fighting' the fat understand each other on so many levels. The support and inspiration I've found in the wt loss blogging community is AWESOME.  I appreciate y'all soooooo much.  Cyber Hugs to each and everyone one of you!

    Fat Daddy Rants post today about belts made me think of my own belt story.  Whenever I start to lose weight I start wearing belts again.  And start "tucking in" again.  A couple months ago the only 2 belts (one black, one brown) that fit broke.  Sooo off to Target 'cuz I didn't want to spend too much - I've got TMTC belts that haven't fit for years but I "know" will fit soon.  2XL is the largest size Target carries but they fit.  Barely.  Just barely.  What an eyeopener.   Well I'm happy to say that now they fit.  And I'm wearing them more often. And tucking my shirts in too.  And as for those TMTC too small belts - its time to lose the weight or lose the belts. One more thing to add to my Decluttering list.

    PS: Check out the giveaway on Fight Fat Phobia

    Wednesday, September 23, 2009

    Divine Secrets of the Fat-Fat Sisterhood

    Women unite! Its time for us corpulent Goddesses to come together:

    1.To show TLOEFGM (The League of Extraordinarily Fat Gentlemen) we will not tolerate the wicked b*tch Miss O'Gynnie

    2.To combat the evil TOM and his notorious side kick Aunt Flo

    3.To replace Miss O'Gynnie, TOM & FLO with "Ms. Moon Tyme"

    Now I've reached that stage in life when TOM and FLO don't come to visit anymore, but I'm still a part of the sisterhood and willing to share the Divine Secrets!

    If you want to join the "Fat Fat Sisterhood" and be mentioned in soon to come "Divine Secrets" sagas leave a comment with your complete blog site URL.

    Here's an advance preview:

    Downsizing Doc [speaking about TOM] "How can I possibly call someone who
    no longer exists? Give me that phone!"
    [Phone rings....]
    Coley-Ole "OMG! That's TOM! Do NOT pick up the phone! Please do not pick up the phone. Doc, don't pick up that phone!"
    Downsizing Doc [picks up the phone]  "Hello??????"
    To Be Continued.....

    Tuesday, September 22, 2009

    The scale is a fickle b*tch and not to be trusted.

    Thanks to all who made supportive (or threats of flogging!) comments in response to yesterday's post.

    Weighed in first thing this am (well actually yesterday since its now after midnight) and did NOT gain anything.  I couldn't believe it.

    So, like I said "The scale is a fickle B*tch and not to be trusted!"
    Certainly not one to let control my "moods or foods" (which usually go hand in hand) The 2 lb wt gain last week didn't start me on my downward spiral, but it sure didn't help. It most likely was mostly fluid shifts/water weight.

    When I look back over the last week I realized inspite of several things I did "wrong" I did make several good choices:
    1. As soon as I started feeling better physically, I started increasing my activity
    2. Most of my bad food choices were the salty chips and salsa variety. Easy on the cheese.
    3. Over the weekend ate too much - but the spaghetti was made with tofu noodles with a sauce was marinara with portobella mushrooms and black olives. And I made a pizza with the leftover sauce and a flat-out. Again, easy on the cheese.
    Today was a good lesson - over time I can use the scale to assess my progress and keep me honest, but during once a week weigh-ins the scale isn't telling the whole picture. Not even close.

    I'm in this for the long haul and its the process (increased activity and smarter food choices & portion sizes) that will get me where I want to go.  

    Monday, September 21, 2009

    I'm Back

    And I never should have left!

    I enjoy the muscle aches and fatigue after a good workout, but not before. Whatever hit me knocked me right out of my workout routine and right back into very bad (but familiar) food habits. I "lurked" for a few days and made a few comments but then stayed away. Its so much easier for me to support others than to admit I was struggling and needed support (or a great big kick in the backside) myself.

    I did weigh-in on Monday and gained 2 lbs. Not bad and I expected a gain at somepoint....just not this early. Tomorrow's the day to weigh-in again - I'm expecting a gain. Probably a huge one. But I'm back and I'll post the gain.

    We all know this is hard, but for the first several weeks things were going so well it seemed almost easy. I've been down this road too many times - I should have known the struggle (or worse) was just around the corner. I stayed away due to denial and feeling like a failure (again) - and that I had let down those following my blog. I think the REAL way I let everyone down was not posting about how I was struggling. In this wt-loss blogging community I've been inspired, challenged and supported - but this only truly works if I all share my entire journey - the struggles and setbacks as well as the victories.

    While my blog is about weight loss and the journey life-long, the real journey is about life.

    Thursday, September 10, 2009

    Think I maybe coming down with something so no walk tonight.  Time to rest and shake this bug or whatever it is. 

    Wednesday, September 9, 2009

    Long Day

    Long day, but a good one. Still got my exercise in; healthy food.  Falling asleep at my computer so its time to hit the rack.

    Tuesday, September 8, 2009

    Phew! I'll take it!

    Down one pound!  Not as good as I'd hoped, but on Thursday I was up one pound, and food was not good Friday and Saturday.   Three days of extra activity and sensible eating Sunday and Monday saved my bacon....errr tempeh (Fakin' Bacon)

    (My weigh-in day is Monday and I do an "weekend incentive" weigh-in on Fridays - but I was not at work Fri- Mon and don't have a scale at home)

    Took a good look at what my food choices have been over the last week and am becoming more aware of portion sizes and those extra (sometimes huge) calories that "sneak" in (cheese, etc)

    Bottom Line:  Activity good; Food getting better. 

    Committed to be able to change the song to LOST 16 lbs very soon!

    Down With Clutter!

    My house and my body are both overburdened with toooo much consumption, so even tho healthy eating and activity is my top priority, I see the two as related so I'm working on both.

    I didn't really have a decluttering plan when I started this blog, but I have noticed since I started eating healthier foods and increased my activity I've made small but steady progress. Then I found Tickerfactory and chose the lilypads as it reminds me of  lotus blossoms.  I'm trying to create a Zen like feeling in my home {well I can dream :-)}  There are 12 lilypads so I listed 12 areas that desparately need some "stuff loss" and organization.  I'm very goal oriented, so think this will keep me motivated.  Another thought that keeps me motivated is if I suddenly left this earth is this the legacy I want to leave?  A burden for my family to clean out and sort thru all this stuff?

    I plan to do a "surface" decluttering first as I suffer from SOEHS (Stuff On Every Horizontal Surface) disease. Then I'll go back and do the "deep" purge.  Some on the list can be finished in a day or a weekend.  Some larger rooms (or those with more "stuff") will need to be broken down into smaller goals.

    1. Dining Room Table
    2. Kitchen Island
    3. Desk
    4. Bedroom
    5. Small Bathroom
    6. Garage
    7. Office
    8. Guest Room
    9. Basement Workroom
    10. Basement Storage Area
    11. Large Bathroom
    12. Laundry Room
    Finished the garage today!  9.5 hours of lifting, climbing, carrying, bending.....what a work-out!  Filled 3 garbage cans!  And will take TMTC (too many to count) boxes to recycle center next week.  What is it with me and boxes?  Big ones, little ones, you name it I've got it....

    A few years ago I discovered FlyLady  Lots of good info on this website. I found the numerous daily emails overwhelming so unsubscribed but I'm planning on going back to the website for some inspiration and ideas.

    Sunday, September 6, 2009

    Giant Sized Portions = Giant Sized Me

    Thanks to everyone for your kind comments about my blog yesterday.  I plan on "doing" a song once or twice a week - probably on weekends when I have more time.  I'm open to suggestions for songs you'd like :-)

    Read JackSh*t this am and his comment on how his food hasn't been "spot on" really made me stop and think about my food. Since I started this wt loss journey about 3 weeks ago, my food choices have been better. Much better.  But I still am not watching portion sizes - an avacodo is full of "good fat" right?  But if I down the whole thing then I'm full of fat. (And full of sh*t when I'm fooling myself) Calories count. 

    I bought a hand-held electronic calorie counter and digital scale last March, but I'd only used the calorie counter to log a couple of meals and the scale is still in the box.  Being aware of what I'm putting in my mouth is important as I know I totally underestimate portion sizes or calorie content of what I'm eating.  Or both. So I got out the calorie counter and logged my meals today.   And measured.

    I know I use food for emotional reasons and addressing those underlying issues for me is key; but its also easy to fool myself into overeating even good choices.

    Its also a huge eye opener about how many calories are in, say, that Santa Fee burger I ate at Red Robin Friday. 1095 calories!!! 68 grams of fat! 1508 mg sodium.... But at least they do have the nutritional info available on their website...and can even customize the toppings.  Several places, such as Applebees, refuse to put this info on their websites.

    A couple of you have asked about my decluttering efforts - I plan to post more about that tomorrow. . I've been focusing more on the food and activity for wt loss; and since its been so nice I've been working outside.  (Win-win because I'm getting in some great exercise while cleaning up the yard; & lots more fun than this winter when I'll be on the "dreadmill')

    A couple months ago I picked up a copy of  "Does this Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat" on a bargain table at Borders.  Started reading it tonight after I saw it mentioned by Lori Ann on her blog Princess in a Not so Fairy Tale World  (She has a video clip with author interview).  So far it looks very good.

    Overconsuming, both food and stuff, for me is a sign of some underlying emotional issue - emotional pain I'm trying to numb, an emptiness I'm trying to fill.  But as a temporary "quick fix" it doesn't work and I just need more and more. If hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution. More "stuff" isn't either.

    Saturday, September 5, 2009

    Lose 16 Tons - Oops Pounds

    Lose 16 pounds, and what will I get
    Too tight clothes now start to fit
    Don't ask me out for pizza, 'cuz I won't go
    I've committed my soul to losin' some mo'

    Lose 22 pounds and what will I do
    Keep eatin' those veggies and fresh fruit too.
    Don't pass me any brownies 'cuz I won't say yes
    I've committed my soul to bein' my best.

    Lose 33 pounds and what will I know
    That I've got more zip, get up and go
    Don't tell me not to workout, that's not in my plan
    The couch potato is on permanent ban

    Lose 44 pounds and what will I see
    Less and less of what used to be me
    Don't hand me that fast food, I'll just say no
    My journey to health I don't want to blow

    Lose 55 pounds and what will I have
    Hard flat abds not a ball of flab
    Don't give me diet soda, whiskey, beer or gin
    'Cuz my fight with fat, I wanna win

    Lose 66 pounds and what will I be
    A thinner, healthier, much fitter me
    Don't ask me out for cheesecake 'cuz I won't go
    I've committed my soul to gettin' to goal.

    Lose 78 pounds and I'll make my goal
    Maintaining this weight will be my new role
    Don't let me forget how far I've come
    'Cuz this battle hasn't been easily won.

    Friday, September 4, 2009

    Checking In

    Just a quick update - long couple of days at work. Exercise is consistant for several days - darker blue on my activity calendar when I do at least 50-60 minutes of walking or heavy yard work, etc.

    Food choices generally good; cutting way back on Diet Coke.

    Falling asleep at the computer so off to get some zzzzzzzzzzz's

    Tuesday, September 1, 2009

    Stumbled but Did Not Fall

    Today we had a last minute lunch meeting at work - and somebody ordered pizza. Even tho I reached for the veggie pizza and ate much less than I would have 3 weeks ago, I still felt bloated & gross afterward. Too much salt and fat - like I swallowed a lead weight. Of course my usual nope I'm going to rename it my OLD response to this feeling would to be top it off with chocolate.....and keep going into the evening.

    Just being aware of how bad I felt was a victory but I also did not give in to the chocolate. We've rearranged work stations and the receptionist I now walk by several times a day has a bowl of mini Snickers bars at her desk. Up 'til now I've been totally ignoring those candy bars. But today after that pizza stumble, the first time I walked by I gave them a good long look. The 2nd time I actually picked one up......but put it back down again! YIPPEE!

    Thinking it thru later - I think I was completely aware and purposely focused on my body's reaction. Physically, I felt absolutely aweful. And after 3 wks of healthy eating it was a very miserable feeling . But the key was I didn't let it trip me up emotionally as it would have in the past. The old me would have been full of guilt and shame and then would try to supress those feelings with more food. And the vicious cycle would begin.

    So a stumble and a victory today. Right now it seems so easy, but it's still scary 'cuz I've been here before and that next full-on day long/week long /month long binge maybe just around the corner. The difference this time is I'm paying attention to my body, learning from my missteps instead beating myself up, and I've got the support of the blogging community.

    Monday, August 31, 2009

    Eye on the Prize

    Down 5.5 lbs from last week!
    Was at 219 on Friday and sure did NOT want to go back over 220 with my usual weekend eat fest. Weighing in on Friday did help to keep me motivated. At least this weekend. I don't have a scale at home; don't want to get overly focused on the scale and weigh myself every hour on the hour!

    I know I'll lose more the first week or two and it will slow down or plateau....My monthly goal is to lose 5 lbs per month; looking for those weekly weigh-ins to average out.

    I've set a target of Dec 1st for my first BIG goal: to get below 200 lbs. (Just checked - that means by my weigh-in on 11-30-09)

    I want to concentrate on the process not the scale, but watching the results on the scale will keep me honest. And setting a weight goal will keep me motivated and stay focused with my Eye on the Prize

    Sunday, August 30, 2009

    Fat Doctor "Weighs" In

    Just heard about a Time Mag article (thanks Jack) that claims exercise doesn't impact wt loss. In my long weight loss journey of at least 40 years the ONLY way I've lost weight and kept it off was exercise. And lots of it. As soon as I stopped it all came back. The old recommendation of "exercise 30 minutes at least 5 times a week" to lose weight never worked either. I see the new recommendation is 60 minutes 5-7 days/wk. And that's at least what it takes for me. I don't trust the media to give me information on food, health, exercise and diet. And the "scientific" studies and medical journals aren't much better.

    As an overweight family doc (can you spell oxymoron?) I struggle with food, diet, exercise and health on several levels. The guilt & shame of being overweight in a society fixated on
    "thin" (ever realize that fat jokes are the only politically correct group left?) is multiplied by the fact that I of all people should know better. I'm no example for my patients. (but can relate to their stuggles with weight) I also am frustrated with the confusion within the medical community on this issue.

    From docs and the medical community there's so much conflicting and misinformation. (I'd say they don't know JackSh*t but I've already mentioned Jack) Most doctors either can't understand why their overweight pts continue to overeat because they've never faced the struggle, or, like me, have the same battle and haven't solved it for themselves.
    The first really valid explaination I've found is from Dr Kessler's book End to Overeating. He took on the food industry when he was head of the FDA and has personally struggled with overeating. I saw myself in the first pages of his book and for the first time in my life have stopped beating myself up for overeating and blaming myself for eating my way into diabetes.

    In the 11 days since I started this blog and my commitment to my wt loss journey, I found the wt loss blog community and started reading other blogs. During that short time I've learned more about the process, motivation, and inspiration than I ever did from the official medical party line. Sean, Irene & Jack have become daily must reads. And thanks to Coley (the first to comment on my blog so who will always be near and dear in my heart) and the others who follow and offer support.

    And now that I've sounded off, I'm going out to exercise. Screw the Times.


    Saturday, August 29, 2009

    No Sugar, No Cravings

    Amazing - I totally forgot to eat lunch today! I had a wrap for breakfast (ww tortilla, egg white, spinach and feta cheese) & I didn't even start getting hungry until almost an hour after my 1 hr walk after work! Haven't had any sugar, white flour or other refined carbs for 4 days.....what a difference!

    Didn't feel like walking after work, but after 4 days of rain the cloudless azure sky told me "no excuses" Only took a few steps until the motivation kicked in.

    My weekly weigh-in is on Mondays......but I know how much I struggle with the weekend so I jumped on the scale after work. I'm hoping this will help me stay motivated to stick with the plan so I don't gain over the weekend. Yep I showed a loss but I'm not posting that now. On Monday I'll tell alllll :-)

    Friday, August 28, 2009

    Lunch time is My Time

    This week instead of working thru lunch (while scarfing down whatever at my desk) I've been reading and commenting on some great, inspiring wt loss blogs. Gives me a break from work and keeps me motivated - and I'm making healthier food choices at lunch and turn off the computer while eating.

    Will be checking in frequently this weekend - a dangerous time for me as I begin this journey.

    Hopefully next week the weather will cooperate and I'll be going out for a mid-day walk.

    Just a quick one

    Short post tonight, err this morning.....Its late...and I really need to start getting more sleep. I've been reading blogs and commenting. Finding alot of inspiration and motivation out in blog land.

    I've had a very good week overall - just need to keep it going thru the weekend which is always a tempting time. I can't believe how much energy I have since I'm eating less. And stayin' away from the sugar, salt and fat.

    The new deli at the local health food coop has been a real blessing. Healthy food and I buy small portions. Yah its a bit expensive but no more than all the take-out I was buying. Sure I was getting huge portions (loaded with sugar, salt and fat) but the true cost HAS to include the cost to my health. And they'll reuse the containers so its more "green"

    Am not drinking as much Diet Coke but one goal is to cut it out all together. One step at a time.

    Thursday, August 27, 2009

    Trigger Trolls

    I'm keeping a list of my triggers cuz I think it will help me recognize them......so when that Trigger Troll raises its ugly head I can say "Oh, I know you. There you are again. Go away!"

    • Snacks and treats at work, especially when I skip breakfast. Never can "Just say No"
    • Lunch time at work when A) I don't eat breakfast and/or B) I don't bring lunch. Fail to plan, plan to FAIL.
    • End of long day at work - as soon as I drive out of parking lot I'm thinking where I can get a quick meal. Preferably with large portions. Chinese? Mexican? Pizza? KFC?
    • Friday night. Why is it I think its OK to eat "whatever" because its the end of the week?
    • Saturday Night
    • Sunday Night
    • Think I'm seeing a pattern here.
    • Saturday AM: sleep in, get up and throw Friday nite leftovers into the micro and head for the TV. Let the eating begin. Have spent entire weekends this way. No wonder I'm overweight and my house is dirty and cluttered
    • Potlucks - unlucky for me. Ditto for Buffets and "all I can eat" Bet they never counted on how much that is.
    • When I'm tired or stressed or bored or angry or scared or lonely.
    • Commercials on TV. Why don't they ever advertise broccoli?
    • Free food - with what it does to my health, there's nothing "free" about it.
    • Sporting event brauts. Loaded with fat, salt, white flour AND overpriced.
    • Traveling -especially by car. So I leave my health at home????
    • To be continued.......

    Wednesday, August 26, 2009

    Old Habits - Should be stapled, spindled and mutilated!

    Was soooo pleased with myself - last night had worked out after good news from the scale in the am. Made a healthy dinner (TLT's*) and made a wonderful salad for lunch for today.....even remembered to take it to work.......but.....didn't eat breakfast and by noon was hungry enough that a salad wasn't what I wanted. Soooooo off to the local sandwich shop. Did ask them to make it a wrap, but grabbed those chips off the rack plus a 24 oz diet coke. And instead of saving half of the sandwich for dinner or tomorrow's lunch like usual I ate the whole thing. AGH!
    *(Tempeh Lettuce and Tomatoes - found some tempeh "Fakin' Bacon" at the health food store)

    Had my workout clothes at the ready for a walk after work, but of course felt so bloated that I just went straight home. Double AGH!

    BUT I came home and wasn't hungry, so waited until I was actually hungry and ate a light, healthy supper.

    AND here's what I learned:

    • Eat Breakfast, Eat Breakfast, Eat Breakfast.

    • I CAN make healthier choices (made it a wrap)

    • I'm starting to listen to my body more and actually waiting until I'm truly hungry instead listening to my "head hunger"

    • I don't skip lunch or dinner, so why the hell would I skip a workout?

    • Just one meal - no big deal. Let it go - no matter how bad I feel.

    • This is HARD. Real hard.

    Reading blogs tonight many mentioned the importance of consistancy and commitment. Dedication and determination.

    Today's Mantra (To quote Coley - and Yoda):

    "Do or Do Not. There is No Try."

    Tuesday, August 25, 2009

    Beautiful Day

    Beautiful day today - still not motivated to workout, but if I wait until I find the motivation it will NEVER happen. After work I put on my exercise clothes before I could talk myself out of it. Walked around the local cross country track for 45 minutes. Weather was perfect and its a wonderful place to walk - like a park -filled with trees and bridges over streams.....and mile markers and hills so I really get a good workout.

    Hasn't been a week since I started this blog, but I usually weigh in on Mondays. YIPPEE 6 lbs down! And a blouse I could not wear at the beginning of the summer now fits and I wore it to work today. Even tho my weight has held steady all summer, for the last 3-4 weeks I've been gradually increasing my activity and making more and more healthy food choices. Still some very unwise choices tho so will improve on that this week. I finally have a "jump-start" on the activity so I need to keep moving. An hour a day, every day, is my goal. Added an activity calendar to my blog which will help keep me motivated to move EVERY day. (Rats - forgot my password so will have to wait to log in todays workout)

    Sunday, August 23, 2009

    Eye Opener at the Ball Park

    Yesterday did yard work for several hours. Healthy food. Today........went with the family to a ball game......sat next to my niece who is gorgeous. Next thing I knew we were both on the Jumbo-tron......."JUMBO" is right. What a shock. When I look at myself in a mirror I'm always standing. And facing forward. I have been totally kidding myself that huge roll above my too-tight waistband really didn't show if I wore a baggy shirt over it. Who was I fooling? Only myself. At least at the time I wasn't stuffing my face with a jumbo braut......(already had polished that off)

    That image broke thru my denial.......and is definitely NOT one I want to present to the world. I have a responsibility to my patients to set a good example, my kids and grandkids to be healthy and fit so I can be here for them for a long long time, and most of all: to myself to be the best I can be.

    Time to GET REAL

    The Countdown

    In my first post I started with total wt (78lbs) I want to lose and the number of days (549) Well, duh I weigh in once a week. Then I figured out that 18 months is 78 weeks......same number of weeks as lbs I want to lose! That's one pound per week. Thats TOTALLY do-able!

    Friday, August 21, 2009

    Day Two
    Since its after midnight its really start of day 3. Food choices getting better; I've been eating breakfast - non fat plain yogurt with fresh raspberries or blueberries. For lunch: salads with salmon or turkey; home grown tomatoes. Problem comes in the evening - don't know why I struggle so much with eating too much at night.

    Good news is the local healthfood store has expanded and now has a deli - healthy food that's convenient for those busy days. And since I live alone it helps that I can buy small quantities - and it helps with portion control.

    Still have not starting exercising - though have been more active with house and yard work. I'm just getting started and already having trouble getting motivated - need to kick it up a notch. Why is this so hard? I know what to do......

    Wednesday, August 19, 2009

    Day One PM

    Generally good food choices today. Reading other wt loss blogs - inspiring and supportive. Also discovered tickerfactory.com Very cool. Didn't weigh today - plan to do that once a week. Late so that's it for today.

    Day One

    Its officially the 19th so today I'm starting my Downsizing Journey! Yes I saw "Julie-Julia" and that inspired me to start a blog - with a deadline.

    I've also been reading "End to Overeating" by Kessler. I really saw myself in the first few pages.

    My goal is to lose 78 lbs and downsize the clutter in my house over the next 18 months. Since I'm now a diabetic the main focus is increasing my activity and making healthier food choices. Not sure how many pounds my house needs to lose :-) so I'll need specific goals for organizing - I'll post those later. And plan to break the journey down into 6 month mini goal segments.

    Today: Weight 228 lbs Waistline 46 inches House: Cluttered!

    To GO: 78 lbs 549 days