Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Stumbled but Did Not Fall

Today we had a last minute lunch meeting at work - and somebody ordered pizza. Even tho I reached for the veggie pizza and ate much less than I would have 3 weeks ago, I still felt bloated & gross afterward. Too much salt and fat - like I swallowed a lead weight. Of course my usual nope I'm going to rename it my OLD response to this feeling would to be top it off with chocolate.....and keep going into the evening.

Just being aware of how bad I felt was a victory but I also did not give in to the chocolate. We've rearranged work stations and the receptionist I now walk by several times a day has a bowl of mini Snickers bars at her desk. Up 'til now I've been totally ignoring those candy bars. But today after that pizza stumble, the first time I walked by I gave them a good long look. The 2nd time I actually picked one up......but put it back down again! YIPPEE!

Thinking it thru later - I think I was completely aware and purposely focused on my body's reaction. Physically, I felt absolutely aweful. And after 3 wks of healthy eating it was a very miserable feeling . But the key was I didn't let it trip me up emotionally as it would have in the past. The old me would have been full of guilt and shame and then would try to supress those feelings with more food. And the vicious cycle would begin.

So a stumble and a victory today. Right now it seems so easy, but it's still scary 'cuz I've been here before and that next full-on day long/week long /month long binge maybe just around the corner. The difference this time is I'm paying attention to my body, learning from my missteps instead beating myself up, and I've got the support of the blogging community.


  1. Hi Doc. Well done for not keeping going after the pizza. The way to health is to be able to step outside your plan occasionally (because there will always be those times) but for that not to tip you over into an eating frenzy. You managed to be very controlled today so that is a victory indeed.

    You're right vigilance is always necessary, but it's great you're finding it easy right now because for most people it's a struggle at least 80% of the time.

    Thanks for starting this blog and being so honest with us.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  2. I think today was a complete success, actually! Because although it's amazing to have a perfect day, I feel like it's far harder to stumble but get up and keep going without the years of experience where we've "just given in and start again tomorrow." You've got your eye on the prize - fantastic job!! That's where real progress is made and goals reached :)

  3. I think it sounds like you were rocking. You were aware and not out of control. Your making a lot of positive steps in the right direction.

    I'm struggling with the balance of unplanned food or when does enjoying it go to being too loose.

    I've even tried to rename cheat day to "enjoy food day" because I can choose to be in control or give that power away to food. It is a real learning process for me, I'm totally rethinking my paradigms around food.

    And remember that thinking is important at Foolsfitness... thinking about cookies, ice cream, Chinese Food, Pizza... -Alan

  4. Good for you! I'm so glad to read that there is a doctor out there that is struggling with the same issue that I am! I totally know the feeling of eating something that doesn't agree with my body doesn't agree with any more. Fried fish is my weakness! I love it and living in southern Louisiana, it is so easy to find. It tastes so good, but afterward, I feel totally sick.

  5. Wow, great job putting down the chocolate! I don't think I could have done that, lol.
    I find that once I eat something that is a trigger food (such as pizza), it does start a domino effect that I have to work hard to stop. It's better to stay away in the first place then to battle those cravings that come afterward.