Eye on the Prize

Down 5.5 lbs from last week!
Was at 219 on Friday and sure did NOT want to go back over 220 with my usual weekend eat fest. Weighing in on Friday did help to keep me motivated. At least this weekend. I don't have a scale at home; don't want to get overly focused on the scale and weigh myself every hour on the hour!

I know I'll lose more the first week or two and it will slow down or plateau....My monthly goal is to lose 5 lbs per month; looking for those weekly weigh-ins to average out.

I've set a target of Dec 1st for my first BIG goal: to get below 200 lbs. (Just checked - that means by my weigh-in on 11-30-09)

I want to concentrate on the process not the scale, but watching the results on the scale will keep me honest. And setting a weight goal will keep me motivated and stay focused with my Eye on the Prize

Fat Doctor "Weighs" In

Just heard about a Time Mag article (thanks Jack) that claims exercise doesn't impact wt loss. In my long weight loss journey of at least 40 years the ONLY way I've lost weight and kept it off was exercise. And lots of it. As soon as I stopped it all came back. The old recommendation of "exercise 30 minutes at least 5 times a week" to lose weight never worked either. I see the new recommendation is 60 minutes 5-7 days/wk. And that's at least what it takes for me. I don't trust the media to give me information on food, health, exercise and diet. And the "scientific" studies and medical journals aren't much better.

As an overweight family doc (can you spell oxymoron?) I struggle with food, diet, exercise and health on several levels. The guilt & shame of being overweight in a society fixated on
"thin" (ever realize that fat jokes are the only politically correct group left?) is multiplied by the fact that I of all people should know better. I'm no example for my patients. (but can relate to their stuggles with weight) I also am frustrated with the confusion within the medical community on this issue.

From docs and the medical community there's so much conflicting and misinformation. (I'd say they don't know JackSh*t but I've already mentioned Jack) Most doctors either can't understand why their overweight pts continue to overeat because they've never faced the struggle, or, like me, have the same battle and haven't solved it for themselves.
The first really valid explaination I've found is from Dr Kessler's book End to Overeating. He took on the food industry when he was head of the FDA and has personally struggled with overeating. I saw myself in the first pages of his book and for the first time in my life have stopped beating myself up for overeating and blaming myself for eating my way into diabetes.

In the 11 days since I started this blog and my commitment to my wt loss journey, I found the wt loss blog community and started reading other blogs. During that short time I've learned more about the process, motivation, and inspiration than I ever did from the official medical party line. Sean, Irene & Jack have become daily must reads. And thanks to Coley (the first to comment on my blog so who will always be near and dear in my heart) and the others who follow and offer support.

And now that I've sounded off, I'm going out to exercise. Screw the Times.

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No Sugar, No Cravings

Amazing - I totally forgot to eat lunch today! I had a wrap for breakfast (ww tortilla, egg white, spinach and feta cheese) & I didn't even start getting hungry until almost an hour after my 1 hr walk after work! Haven't had any sugar, white flour or other refined carbs for 4 days.....what a difference!

Didn't feel like walking after work, but after 4 days of rain the cloudless azure sky told me "no excuses" Only took a few steps until the motivation kicked in.

My weekly weigh-in is on Mondays......but I know how much I struggle with the weekend so I jumped on the scale after work. I'm hoping this will help me stay motivated to stick with the plan so I don't gain over the weekend. Yep I showed a loss but I'm not posting that now. On Monday I'll tell alllll :-)

Lunch time is My Time

This week instead of working thru lunch (while scarfing down whatever at my desk) I've been reading and commenting on some great, inspiring wt loss blogs. Gives me a break from work and keeps me motivated - and I'm making healthier food choices at lunch and turn off the computer while eating.

Will be checking in frequently this weekend - a dangerous time for me as I begin this journey.

Hopefully next week the weather will cooperate and I'll be going out for a mid-day walk.

Just a quick one

Short post tonight, err this morning.....Its late...and I really need to start getting more sleep. I've been reading blogs and commenting. Finding alot of inspiration and motivation out in blog land.

I've had a very good week overall - just need to keep it going thru the weekend which is always a tempting time. I can't believe how much energy I have since I'm eating less. And stayin' away from the sugar, salt and fat.

The new deli at the local health food coop has been a real blessing. Healthy food and I buy small portions. Yah its a bit expensive but no more than all the take-out I was buying. Sure I was getting huge portions (loaded with sugar, salt and fat) but the true cost HAS to include the cost to my health. And they'll reuse the containers so its more "green"

Am not drinking as much Diet Coke but one goal is to cut it out all together. One step at a time.

Trigger Trolls

I'm keeping a list of my triggers cuz I think it will help me recognize them......so when that Trigger Troll raises its ugly head I can say "Oh, I know you. There you are again. Go away!"

• Snacks and treats at work, especially when I skip breakfast. Never can "Just say No"
• Lunch time at work when A) I don't eat breakfast and/or B) I don't bring lunch. Fail to plan, plan to FAIL.
• End of long day at work - as soon as I drive out of parking lot I'm thinking where I can get a quick meal. Preferably with large portions. Chinese? Mexican? Pizza? KFC?
• Friday night. Why is it I think its OK to eat "whatever" because its the end of the week?
• Saturday Night
• Sunday Night
• Think I'm seeing a pattern here.
• Saturday AM: sleep in, get up and throw Friday nite leftovers into the micro and head for the TV. Let the eating begin. Have spent entire weekends this way. No wonder I'm overweight and my house is dirty and cluttered
• Potlucks - unlucky for me. Ditto for Buffets and "all I can eat" Bet they never counted on how much that is.
• When I'm tired or stressed or bored or angry or scared or lonely.
• Commercials on TV. Why don't they ever advertise broccoli?
• Free food - with what it does to my health, there's nothing "free" about it.
• Sporting event brauts. Loaded with fat, salt, white flour AND overpriced.
• Traveling -especially by car. So I leave my health at home????
• To be continued.......

Old Habits - Should be stapled, spindled and mutilated!

Was soooo pleased with myself - last night had worked out after good news from the scale in the am. Made a healthy dinner (TLT's*) and made a wonderful salad for lunch for today.....even remembered to take it to work.......but.....didn't eat breakfast and by noon was hungry enough that a salad wasn't what I wanted. Soooooo off to the local sandwich shop. Did ask them to make it a wrap, but grabbed those chips off the rack plus a 24 oz diet coke. And instead of saving half of the sandwich for dinner or tomorrow's lunch like usual I ate the whole thing. AGH!
*(Tempeh Lettuce and Tomatoes - found some tempeh "Fakin' Bacon" at the health food store)

Had my workout clothes at the ready for a walk after work, but of course felt so bloated that I just went straight home. Double AGH!

BUT I came home and wasn't hungry, so waited until I was actually hungry and ate a light, healthy supper.

AND here's what I learned:

• Eat Breakfast, Eat Breakfast, Eat Breakfast.


• I CAN make healthier choices (made it a wrap)


• I'm starting to listen to my body more and actually waiting until I'm truly hungry instead listening to my "head hunger"


• I don't skip lunch or dinner, so why the hell would I skip a workout?


• Just one meal - no big deal. Let it go - no matter how bad I feel.


• This is HARD. Real hard.

Reading blogs tonight many mentioned the importance of consistancy and commitment. Dedication and determination.

Today's Mantra (To quote Coley - and Yoda):

"Do or Do Not. There is No Try."

Beautiful Day

Beautiful day today - still not motivated to workout, but if I wait until I find the motivation it will NEVER happen. After work I put on my exercise clothes before I could talk myself out of it. Walked around the local cross country track for 45 minutes. Weather was perfect and its a wonderful place to walk - like a park -filled with trees and bridges over streams.....and mile markers and hills so I really get a good workout.

Hasn't been a week since I started this blog, but I usually weigh in on Mondays. YIPPEE 6 lbs down! And a blouse I could not wear at the beginning of the summer now fits and I wore it to work today. Even tho my weight has held steady all summer, for the last 3-4 weeks I've been gradually increasing my activity and making more and more healthy food choices. Still some very unwise choices tho so will improve on that this week. I finally have a "jump-start" on the activity so I need to keep moving. An hour a day, every day, is my goal. Added an activity calendar to my blog which will help keep me motivated to move EVERY day. (Rats - forgot my password so will have to wait to log in todays workout)

Eye Opener at the Ball Park

Yesterday did yard work for several hours. Healthy food. Today........went with the family to a ball game......sat next to my niece who is gorgeous. Next thing I knew we were both on the Jumbo-tron......."JUMBO" is right. What a shock. When I look at myself in a mirror I'm always standing. And facing forward. I have been totally kidding myself that huge roll above my too-tight waistband really didn't show if I wore a baggy shirt over it. Who was I fooling? Only myself. At least at the time I wasn't stuffing my face with a jumbo braut......(already had polished that off)

That image broke thru my denial.......and is definitely NOT one I want to present to the world. I have a responsibility to my patients to set a good example, my kids and grandkids to be healthy and fit so I can be here for them for a long long time, and most of all: to myself to be the best I can be.

Time to GET REAL

The Countdown

In my first post I started with total wt (78lbs) I want to lose and the number of days (549) Well, duh I weigh in once a week. Then I figured out that 18 months is 78 weeks......same number of weeks as lbs I want to lose! That's one pound per week. Thats TOTALLY do-able!

Day Two
Since its after midnight its really start of day 3. Food choices getting better; I've been eating breakfast - non fat plain yogurt with fresh raspberries or blueberries. For lunch: salads with salmon or turkey; home grown tomatoes. Problem comes in the evening - don't know why I struggle so much with eating too much at night.

Good news is the local healthfood store has expanded and now has a deli - healthy food that's convenient for those busy days. And since I live alone it helps that I can buy small quantities - and it helps with portion control.

Still have not starting exercising - though have been more active with house and yard work. I'm just getting started and already having trouble getting motivated - need to kick it up a notch. Why is this so hard? I know what to do......

Day One PM

Generally good food choices today. Reading other wt loss blogs - inspiring and supportive. Also discovered tickerfactory.com Very cool. Didn't weigh today - plan to do that once a week. Late so that's it for today.

Day One

Its officially the 19th so today I'm starting my Downsizing Journey! Yes I saw "Julie-Julia" and that inspired me to start a blog - with a deadline.

I've also been reading "End to Overeating" by Kessler. I really saw myself in the first few pages.

My goal is to lose 78 lbs and downsize the clutter in my house over the next 18 months. Since I'm now a diabetic the main focus is increasing my activity and making healthier food choices. Not sure how many pounds my house needs to lose :-) so I'll need specific goals for organizing - I'll post those later. And plan to break the journey down into 6 month mini goal segments.

Today: Weight 228 lbs Waistline 46 inches House: Cluttered!

To GO: 78 lbs 549 days